My New Torture Device

This is the JAS Splint that I will now be wearing three times a day. JAS stands for Joint Active System and this will enable me to do what happens in physical therapy at home. I will be able to move my knee into a bent position and the splint will hold it there. The woman's hand is on a crank that increases (or decreases) the degree of bend.

To check out the literature from the company's web site click here.

It looks pretty medieval, but apparently because you do it yourself at home you can be more gradual. Therefore it should not cause near the pain of an actual therapy appointment where someone is physically pushing for 5 to 10 minutes a couple times a week. Of course I'll still be doing that too, so this is in addition to and not in place of PT. I'm hopeful that the combination will yield good results.

I don't actually have it yet. I was measured for it yesterday and the order was placed, so I'll write again when I actually start to use it and let everyone know what I think after some first hand experience.

I've been checking a few items off my list...

from about two weeks ago (see post entitled "Things that I miss" for full list). This has been a week of progress and for that I am very thankful.

This week I --

• Started sitting in the front seat of a car
• Wore shoes that laced up
• Wore something other than a t-shirt and gym shorts
• Made the rounds of the church campus today while I was there for a staff meeting
• Walked (with crutches) downtown to Starbucks for coffee with Dan

This wasn't on my list, but sitting back in the pew with my family during worship service has been a big moral boost. This past week I even kept my foot down throughout the service and stood for the hymns. Last week I walked up to the lecturn, presented our high school graduates and led the congregation in a prayer during worship on Sunday. Wednesday night I walked to the lecturn and did the Invocation at an Eagle Scout Court of Honor for two boys from our youth group.

I am still frustrated that I'm not further along in my recovery, but I am making sure to pay attention to the progress that I am making and taking time to celebrate it.

Bush-McCain Challenge

Think you can tell them apart? Watch the ad, then take the challenge

Our new grill

I went to Sears yesterday and bought a new gas grill during a Memorial Day Weekend sale (actual model shown at left). Dad came over today and we assembled it. I can't wait to do some grilling. Danielle and I used to grill all the time at our house in Arnold, but when we moved our old one was in such bad shape that we took it to the dump instead of dragging it to Shady Side. We were fully intending to get a new one when spring came around that year, but our contract fell through on the house and we ended up moving into a 3rd floor condo where grills were not allowed. So its been almost three years without a grill.

We've really missed the ease and joy of cooking over open flames but now we are "fired up" and ready for summer!

The Pool is OPEN!!

Today I got to do something that made me feel more like my old self than just about anything else physical that I can think of. I got to go swimming. Now to many that may not seem like a very big deal or perhaps just a typical Memorial Day weekend thing. Those of you that knew me through my younger years understand why this is so monumental in light of my recent injury.

For those of you that have only known me as an adult, a little background. From age ten until about twenty the only activities that I logged more time at were school and sleeping. I swam competitively year round for the Navy Juniors and played water polo for the Annapolis Water Polo Club. I was an all-state backstroker and chosen for a national development camp for water polo that was held at the Olympic Training Center. I say this not to brag but to give context for why going swimming meant so much to me today.

I have been more than a little frustrated by the limitations that have been imposed upon me by my broken leg, but today I got to feel quite normal. My current status still brought some challenges, specifically getting in and out of the pool. But once I was free of crutches and knee brace and in the water, I was able to swim laps like anyone else. Now I'm about twenty years past my prime, but I would venture to say that anyone that didn't see me before I got in the pool had no idea that I'm a bit....uh...lame at the moment.

I also got to try out "walking" on the bottom in the 4 to 5 foot section of the pool. At that depth I am buoyant enough so that I can work on strengthening my leg without the aid of crutches or a knee brace. I guess it is kind of like my version of water aerobics.

So I'm looking forward to daily swims to keep myself in shape and hopefully to speed up my recovery. I'm also looking forward to warmer weather and warmer water.

Gilberts -- Young People Who Rock

Three high school students from our youth group at church, the Gilbert triplets -Connor, Emma and Hayley, were featured on CNN.com this week and interviewed live this afternoon. They are being featured in the series Young People Who Rock and you can read all about it here.

Their company Polar Bear Nation was launched earlier this year to help raise awareness about climate change and specifically the plight of the polar bear which they describe as an Arctic "canary in a coal mine." Half of the proceeds are being donated to Polar Bears International and the other half are being reinvested to grow their business. Polar Bears International is a program to educate students about climate change and to allow them to visit the Arctic and see first hand what is happening so that they can become "Arctic Ambassadors." Connor was there back in October. You can check out his journal, see videos and photos of his trip here.

Needless to say I'm extremely proud of them. Also as the owner of a pair of PBN sweatpants and the fleece pullover that Connor is wearing in the picture above I can tell you that their products are well made and very comfy!

UPDATE- Here is the link to their interview on Friday

Biden Weighs in on Iranian Diplomacy Controversy

Joe Biden, chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, has a great op-ed piece in today's Wall Street Journal. To read the entire article click here.

"Terrorism is a means, not an end, and very different groups and countries are using it toward very different goals. Messrs. Bush and McCain lump together, as a single threat, extremist groups and states more at odds with each other than with us: Sunnis and Shiites, Persians and Arabs, Iraq and Iran, al Qaeda and Shiite militias. If they can't identify the enemy or describe the war we're fighting, it's difficult to see how we will win.

He really goes after Bush, McCain, Lieberman and all the right wing talking heads that have been trying to make a big deal out of the fact that Obama would be open to talking to Iran. The icing on the cake is that he uses the precedent set by some rather well know Republican presidents to illustrate why their argument is ridiculous -

"Last week, John McCain was very clear. He ruled out talking to Iran. He said that Barack Obama was "naïve and inexperienced" for advocating engagement; "What is it he wants to talk about?" he asked.

Well, for a start, Iran's nuclear program, its support for Shiite militias in Iraq, and its patronage of Hezbollah in Lebanon and Hamas in Gaza.

Beyond bluster, how would Mr. McCain actually deal with these dangers? You either talk, you maintain the status quo, or you go to war. If Mr. McCain has ruled out talking, we're stuck with an ineffectual policy or military strikes that could quickly spiral out of control.

Sen. Obama is right that the U.S. should be willing to engage Iran on its nuclear program without "preconditions" – i.e. without insisting that Iran first freeze the program, which is the very subject of any negotiations. He has been clear that he would not become personally involved until the necessary preparations had been made and unless he was convinced his engagement would advance our interests.

President Nixon didn't demand that China end military support to the Vietnamese killing Americans before meeting with Mao. President Reagan didn't insist that the Soviets freeze their nuclear arsenal before sitting down with Mikhail Gorbachev. Even George W. Bush – whose initial disengagement allowed dangers to proliferate – didn't demand that Libya relinquish its nuclear program, that North Korea give up its plutonium, or even that Iran stop aiding those attacking our soldiers in Iraq before authorizing talks.

The net effect of demanding preconditions that Iran rejects is this: We get no results and Iran gets closer to the bomb."

I really hope that Mr. Biden ends up with a key position in the Obama administration. The man knows his foreign policy and is not afraid to speak up and call people out on their bull shit arguments.

New milestone

Jessica got my knee to 65 degrees today. It was at about 60 before she even started pushing. That was after the heat with my ankle tied to the table routine and the sonogram that I describe a few entries back.

She's also added several new exercises and is scheduling to have a representative come out and fit me for a contraption that will hold my knee in a bent position for extended periods of time. It sounds like it will be similar to my brace, except it can be adjusted and then locked into the bent position. She said it would be something that I will wear 3 or 4 times a day. Sounds like loads of fun.... Her ideas all seem to be increasing my range of motion though, so even if it is uncomfortable I'm game.

Political Rally or Rock Concert?

This is amazing...

The Straight Talk Express?

Judge for yourself....

On a happier note...

My mother got a nice birthday present from the oncologist today. Her CT scan looked good and her CA125 was down a few points. YAY!

On a related note my family will be participating in our 4th Relay for Life to raise money for the American Cancer Society on June 6th. There will be about 40 teams gathered on the track and the in-field of South River High School from 6PM Friday night until 6AM Saturday morning. Each team has commited to keeping at least one team member on the track and walking through out the entire night because cancer never sleeps. There will be food, music, games, a silent and live auction and lots of other fun. The event is open to the public and one that I highly recommend.

If you'd like to make a donnation to my team click here. Thanks!!

Things that I miss....

(or at the very least wish I could do to help out)
(and in no particular order)

• getting around without crutches or a chair
• driving
• going to work
• taking the dogs for a walk
• sleeping in bed
• pacing
• painting
• kneeling
• sitting in the front seat of a car
• going up stairs 2 at a time and coming down 3 or 4 at a time
• making the rounds on the church campus
• sitting at a desk to use the computer
• climbing scaffolding
• Saturday mornings with the sweat equity crew
• walking downtown to Starbucks for coffee with Dan
• getting food or a drink for myself without having to plan it out
• taking a shower in a standing position
• wearing something other than t-shirts and gym shorts
• rough housing with the dogs
• wearing shoes that lace up
• dancing
• the satisfying smell of saw dust in the air and having paint on my hands and clothes
• having strangers look at me without pity in their eyes
• yard work (that one really surprises me)

Its now been eight weeks since my accident. I know this is temporary and that I will be able to do all of these things again, but I'm a bit frustrated. I have only a limited amount of responsibility right now and my "to do" list is shorter than it has been in a long while, but I'm having difficulty finding the motivation to do the things on it. The old adage that my dad always told me is so true - "if you want something done, assign it to the busiest person around." I have a much easier time getting things done when I am busy.

Truth be told, I've been a bit depressed this past week. I don't have the pain and fear or the wonderful distraction of many visitors that were so present the first few weeks. I'm in this weird in between stage where I'm not in need of the same level of care but I'm still limited in what I can do. Everything takes way too much planning and energy for my liking. I feel like I can't just "do" something. I have to figure out how I'm going to get there and back, whether I will be able to sit comfortably when I get there, what the accessibility features are and if what I want to do is enough of a draw to offset all of the annoying and unknown factors that there are. And time...everything takes so much longer. I just can't move fast enough and have to factor extra time into everything.

I'm not losing hope though. I'm just frustrated with my current status. This too shall pass.

A little bit more

I didn't quite get the 60 degrees that was our goal, but Jessica did get me pretty close - 58 degrees. As of today, she has added the sonogram into the routine too. Several people who have gone through PT told me about this, but today was my first experience with it. The technology is pretty much the same as the other kind of sonogram, but there is no video feed, just sound waves pulsed into the joint to create heat and loosen up the tissues in a locked joint. It didn't really feel like anything was happening, but I was able to bend about 6 degrees more than before she did it, so I think I'm a fan. Of course it still took a good bit of force from Jessica to get it there, so don't get the impression that this is a painless miracle fix. However if you know of one of those, by all means let me know because I'm in the market for one.

Hey knee, bend....pretty please.

After last Tuesday's backslide and losing 20 degrees in the range of motion in my knee, my therapist Jessica greeted me on Thursday with determination and a plan to get back to (and past) where I had previously been measured.

Previously I have started out each appointment sitting on a table with both legs straight out and heat on my knee. It's my "warm up" before I start stretching and doing exercises. So much for the relaxing first 10 minutes of my appointment. Thursday and again today I got to start my appointment in a new and interesting way. I still got heat for the first 10-15 minutes, but instead of being relaxed with my legs on the table, I was asked to sit on the end of the table with my legs hanging over the end. Well, my left leg was hanging nicely with a 90 degree bend while my right leg was just sticking out into the room at a slight downward angle. Jessica applied the heat, grabbed some surgical tubing and tied my right ankle to the table leg with tension. So the net effect was that my knee was being bent as heat was being applied. Needless to say, this was not very relaxing. Actually relaxing was the hardest part of this. It didn't really hurt, but my natural instinct was to tense up and resist the pull at my ankle and the weight of the heat wrap on my leg. But as usual, Jessica knew what she was doing, because the more I relaxed the more I could feel my knee loosen and bend.
But she wasn't finished yet. Once the heat came off and she removed the strap between my ankle and the table she then began massaging the muscles around my knee with one hand while gently pushing on my ankle with the other. She was able to get me to 48 degrees on Thursday. Then after 20 reps of my knee bending exercises she measured the bend at 50 degrees.

Today we got it to 55 degrees although it took a bit more force than it did last time. I've been instructed to do my knee bending exercise three times a day now and she has assured me that on Thursday we will get to 6o degrees.

This whole routine reminds me of what my good friend Doug used to say when we were working together and ran into something that was a little difficult. When we were building something and it appeared a piece of lumber might be just a bit long and might not fit, or when we were doing demo and ran into something stubborn he often said "It's all in how you ask it." Doug has hammers that he has named Please, Pretty Please, and Pretty Please with Sugar on Top. If you haven't guessed, each of these hammers is bigger than the next. Actually Pretty Please with Sugar on Top is a sledge hammer.

So last Thursday Jessica said "please", today was definitely a "pretty please" and I am really hoping that my range of motion continues to improve without her having to do a "pretty please with sugar on top."

Baby Steps

I haven't written about my leg in a while and there have been some developments so it is time for an update. Physical Therapy has been going well. I've been doing all my exercises regularly (9 different ones twice a day) and Danielle and I have continued to take our evening wheelchair "walks" around the neighborhood.
Yesterday I had a follow up with the surgeon for the first time in several weeks. Friday will be 6 weeks since surgery and even though the x-ray showed that the major fracture and crushed section are not totally healed he gave me the green light to start putting weight on it. I am supposed to continue to use the crutches, while gradually putting more and more weight on my right leg. Last week Jessica, my physical therapist, briefed me on what to expect in anticipation of Dr. Ove allowing this. She told me that the first two weeks would be pretty uncomfortable, that my leg would swell again and that in many ways I might feel like I was going backwards. She said that it would be a shock to the tissues and that they would react, but just like when I started PT, that the more the muscles got used the more my leg would act as its own pump to deal with the swelling and to help in the healing process.
So I did a little walking and standing yesterday and sure enough it was swollen and aching last night. I am extremely slow and it is hard not to just pick my foot up and use the crutches as "normal", but I know that it will get easier the more I do it so I'm trying to do it as much as I can tolerate it.
This morning's physical therapy appointment was pretty interesting. Jessica was pleased to find out that she could add a few more exercises to my routine so I now have 11 to do twice a day.
The bad news came when I was doing my knee bending exercise and she measured my range. I was only getting 30 degrees, when a week and a half ago I was getting 50. Neither of us was happy. So she determined where the tightness was and gave me a deep massage where my quad connects to my knee and taught me how to do it. So now that is also added to my exercise routine. When the sweat equity folks told me that PT was my job now, they weren't kidding. It takes a lot of time to go through all those exercises twice a day and do heat 10 minutes before and ice 10 minutes after each time.
Not that I'm complaining. I want to walk and drive and climb ladders again soon and this is how I'm going to get there.

I just finished reading Parker Palmer's Let Your Life Speak and in it he recounts the story of his time at Outward Bound. The Outward Bound motto that he learns totally fits where I am - "If you can't get out of it, you'd better get into it!"