My Dreadlocks

Recently I was approached by a very sweet septuagenarian after church with some questions about my hair. Apparently she has been sitting a few pews behind me for the past few years (Presbyterians are such creatures of habit that we have unofficial self imposed assigned seating) and finally decided to ask me about my dreadlocks. She has been curious, and after a disclaimer about not wanting to offend me, worked up the nerve to say "I know your hair is making a statement, but I was curious as to what that might be?" After a good chuckle I told her that I hadn't overtly intended on a single statement when I decided to undertake this style, but that there were several that came to mind for me. More on those in a bit.

While discussing this with my sister, Becky, she reminded me of an essay that was a big part in my decision to try this hairstyle. It is entitled Sister and it is from Anne Lamott's book Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith. Anne Lamott was definitely an inspiration for me adopting this hairstyle. After being approached by strangers asking how they could get their hair to look like hers she says this --

"Mostly people see someone with dreadlocks, especially a white person with dreadlocks, and assume that the person's hair carries with it a position or message -- the message being, Maybe you don't have as many prejudices against me as you do against black people, but you should. Most people, if asked might wonder if perhaps dreadlocks are somewhat unpatriotic --isn't it unpatriotic not to comb your hair? The tangles are so funky, and who knows, they may harbor bugs and disease. Perhaps to some people dreadlocks indicate confusion of thought and character: good children have shiny combed hair, while bad children, poor children, loser kids, have bushy hair.
But two people in St. Louis stopped me on the street and asked for instructions on how to get their hair to look like mine."

In this essay she recounts the problems that she had with her hair and how much of a source of anxiety it was for her for 40 years. She was constantly worried about the weather and went through tons of products (mousse, gel, etc) to attempt to control her fluffy wiry hair. I can certainly relate. My hair, when not super short has always required a good deal of effort and/or gel to get it to do what I want it to do.

She keeps thinking "How much longer am I going to think about my hair more often than about things in the world that matter?" After some gentle prodding from a neighbor and a revelation while watching The Shawshank Redemption she allowed her friends to come over and start her locks.

"Dreadlocks would be a way of saying I was no longer going to play by the rules of mainstream white beauty. it meant that I was no longer going to even try and blend. It was a way of saying that I know what kind of hair I have, I know what it looks like, and I am going to stop trying to pretend it is different than that. That I was going to celebrate instead."

"The dreads are so cool: no wonder two people in St. Louis wanted my secret. Like snowflakes, each dreadlock is different, has its own configuration, its own breadth and feel."

So, what statement am I making with my locks?

I have always enjoyed being a little bit "out there" in order to draw attention to myself. Hair style is an easy way to accomplish this. I've been doing it since junior high with a "spike", a rat tail, long hair, crew cut, completely shaved, the James Dean pompadour, you name it. (photo album of my many styles) My dreads definitely help me in social situations when I often retract into my introverted nature. Like Anne's new friends in St. Louis, strangers will often ask me questions or want to touch them in line at the grocery store or out at restaurants. Its quite amusing and brings me out of my shell to meet and talk to people that I otherwise would not have interacted with 9 times out of 10. They are my ambassadors, my tentacles to reach out to the world.

As a white middle class heterosexual male I have rarely experienced what actual prejudice feels like, but I was raised to want to combat it any way that I can. I do know that often those barriers come down when people are directly exposed to people of different stripes. It is harder to be homophobic when you meet or are related to a gay individual. It is harder to be racist when you have friends or coworkers of another race. So, it is my hope and desire that people who know me or meet me will pause before jumping to conclusions about someone else who looks different than them.
In much the same way my hair affects my behavior and attitudes too. It gives me the incentive and opportunity to overcome the stereotypes that are out there. That only works if my behavior and actions are contrary to what those stereotypes are.

It also helps to remind me not to jump to conclusions either because I have now had a small taste of what that feels like. I have been pulled over by the police without committing any moving violation a handful of times. I'm fairly certain that I was profiled. I have also been mistaken for one of the homeless while volunteering. These are not even close to what so many endure on a daily basis and I can always change my hair, but my empathy grew as a result.

Like Anne Lamott I see my dreads as "an act of both triumph and surrender to give up trying to have (normal) hair." They help me socially and they help me to spread the message of equality for all.

I also happen to think that they look great.
I put this photo album together on Facebook to show the progression of my locks over the last four years for the company where I got my instructions and products - DreadheadHQ.com Anyone considering this style should check out their website. You don't have to buy the products in order to start your own locks, but I would highly recommend them. The products and the people behind them are excellent.
UPDATE - Last night after posting this I saw the following "Tweet" from Joan Walsh, editor of Salon - "I promised to Tweet with Anne Lamott, but our dogs are going wild. Plus, nothing good to Tweet about..."

Knowing that Anne was in the room with Joan and that they were monitoring Twitter while watching election returns I sent the following message - "@joanwalsh Tell Anne that there's another Presbyterian w/dreads in MD who loves her and quoted her on his blog today. Love you too Joan." Didn't get a reply (didn't really expect to) but at least I got to tell one of my favorite authors how great I think she is and there is an ever so slim chance that she might have checked this post out. How cool would that be?

UPDATE #2 - In April, I found out that Anne Lamott was doing a book signing in Northern Virginia in support of her new fictional novel, Imperfect Birds. On the spur of the moment I hopped in my car and drove over to see her speak for about 45 minutes, take questions and got her to sign my well worn copy of Traveling Mercies and a brand spanking new copy of the new novel for Becky's birthday present. I was too nervous to think to ask her if she ever saw my Tweet or read my blog post, but I did tell her that she was part of my inspiration for the hairstyle, that I was heading to seminary in the Fall, and how much progressive Christians appreciate her voice and writings.