Ever get that feeling that there is something you should be doing?

Many who know me were surprised when I started getting more involved at church several years ago. They were even more surprised when I took first one and then a second job on staff at my home church. What most don't know is that returning to the church that I grew up in and the career choices that I have made over the last four years have been part of my personal discernment process about my calling.

Vocation - a definition by Frederick Buechner from his book - Wishful Thinking: A Seeker's ABC

It comes from the Latin vocare, to call, and means the work a person is called to by God.

There are all different kinds of voices calling you to all different kinds of work, and the problem is to find out which is the voice of God rather than of Society, say, or the Superego, or Self-Interest.

By and large a good rule for finding out is this: The kind of work God usually calls you to is the kind of work (a) that you need most to do and (b) that the world most needs to have done. If you really get a kick out of your work, you've presumably met requirement (a), but if your work is writing cigarette ads, the chances are you've missed requirement (b). On the other hand, if your work is being a doctor in a leper colony, you have probably met requirement (b), but if most of the time you're bored and depressed by it, the chances are you have not only bypassed (a), but probably aren't helping your patients much either.

Neither the hair shirt nor the soft berth will do. The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.

I love both of the jobs that I have at FPC Annapolis (although I haven't been able to do one of them for ten months). Both positions provide me with the opportunity to use skills that I have gained at previous jobs and from life in general on a regular basis. Both positions have challenged me and given me the opportunity to tackle things that I have needed to work on. I've also gotten to see what it is like to work at a church. Interacting with the congregation; helping to prepare the campus, buildings, programs, and activities; and incorporating spiritual disciplines and my own spiritual growth into my occupation have all been enormously fulfilling. Now that I have a much clearer picture of my vocation than I did in my early 20s I feel that going back to school is what I need to do.

Last January I attended a conference for youth leaders and had the opportunity to talk with representatives from several of the Presbyterian Seminaries. When I returned home I started researching the possibility of going to seminary and about the process for ordination in the Presbyterian Church (USA). I found out that the first formal step that one takes is to become an Inquirer. One becomes an Inquirer by expressing an interest in being ordained to the Session (the Elders elected to represent your individual church) and if they are agreeable they recommend you to the Presbytery (larger representative body governing many churches). As an Inquirer your discernment process becomes public and the church works with you to evaluate and help develop the qualities and talents needed in order to be a minister.

I began working on my application and discussed this step with family, friends and advisers. I was finished with my application and trying to decide the proper timing to go public with my intentions when I had my accident.

As with my life in general, my accident has both simplified and complicated my decision to take this step. On the one hand, a far less physically demanding occupation seems to be in my future. On the other hand, the timing of going forward with this process has been up in the air. For the most part, I have put this on the back burner since April because I've needed to put my focus on recovering from my injury and am in the bureaucratic flow chart of the Worker's Compensation process. The irony of that is that my accident has imbued me with a sense of urgency. So I have this overwhelming feeling that life is short, that you never know what will happen and that I've got to get started and haven't been able to act upon it.

Now that I'm through the worst of my recovery from the second surgery and the infection, I'm ready to start the process. It appears that the infection is under control and I am off of the crutches. As the time draws near for the determination of my ability (or lack thereof) to return to my old job I am ready to move forward with my long term plans. I am in conversation with my case worker to coordinate all of this with the Worker's Compensation process.

At Tuesday night's Session meeting, they were informed of my application and it has been turned in to the Clerk. The next step will be for the entire Session to have a chance to review the document and most likely I will be invited to a Session meeting so that they can interview me before they decide whether they will support my request and pass it on the the Baltimore Presbytery. The earliest that this could happen would be in April since the Session is not meeting during Lent. So I have a bit of waiting yet, but it feels good to have started the ball rolling and taken a proactive instead of a reactive step.